To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I should write this particular article. I was afraid people would not like it, or be upset with me in a kind of “shoot the messenger” kind of way. The topic was not what I had planned to write about, yet the idea and thoughts just flowed in so powerfully while I was on my morning walk, that it felt like it was important to share it with you.
If you find that you have a strong reaction of any kind, I invite you to: 1. share it with me in an email, 2. process with a trusted friend, 3. journal about it until you find a place of peace. Things we have strong feelings about often have deep roots, and tie into old beliefs about our self where we are holding shame or self-doubt.
My intention here is to take a closer look at this issue of food and weight, and how it impacts you, so that you can find ways to feel better about your self and your choices.
So- after all the fanfare, here goes.
Have you seen that commercial on tv? It’s an ad for a medication that treats depression. The very powerful tagline, the question the commercial asks after showing “how” depression hurts is- “Who does depression hurt”, or something like that. We are shown heartbreaking images of family members, pets and others. We can feel how much they are also hurt by another’s depression. It’s an ad that really gets our attention.
I was thinking about all of the ways in which eating disorders affect the ones we love. I know of the guilt of the moms who can’t wait to put their young children to bed, so that they can binge. Or the mother of a bulimic daughter, worried every time her daughter does or does not eat. Or the husband who feels so helpless around his partner’s constant criticism of her appearance, and her avoidance of any physical contact.
I know my own history. Snapping at my kids when I was angry with myself for bingeing. Or feeling too tired and sluggish from being in the sugar to really show up for my life. Not feeling good about going to social events, and unable to have a good time because I felt self-conscious. Or yet another diet begun, with all of THAT drama…..ugh.
Does any of this resonate for you? It’s so painful. When you are in the midst of hating your self, either because you hate your body, or are disgusted at the way you are eating, or feeling overwhelmed because you really don’t know what to do or how to feel better- unfortunately, you are probably not the only one suffering.
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So now what?
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As always, I think you just need to let your self feel whatever comes up around this for you. Give yourself space and permission to reflect on the ways your struggles around food may be impacting others. What is it like for you to think about this?
Now- still in a quiet place, see if you can connect with your heart, as you experience all of this. Just close your eyes, and find the softness and compassion that lives in your heart. Just breathe. Let the compassion from the heart find its way to any place that you are noticing emotional pain- any guilt, any shame, any sadness or judgment. Just breathe into those feelings. We are simply bringing the compassion and love of the heart and letting them “be” with the other feelings.
Do not try to change anything, there is no need to fix – the point of this is just to let your self experience the truth of your emotions, in a safe and judgment-free way, without taking action, or doing anything at all.
If you use a journal (and I really recommend that you do – it’s invaluable for moving energy out), then take some time to process what came up for you. Any places where you noticed painful feelings, write about them. The act of writing brings fresh perspective, relief, and most importantly allows you to feel what you feel honestly, and express your self in whatever ways you need to, without anyone judging you or trying to stifle you.
If you read all of this, give yourself some credit. It’s a tough truth to look at, and makes us feel vulnerable and lousy. Pain can be a good teacher though, moving us towards new choices and solutions.
Lisa Claudia Briggs, is the Founder of Intuitive Body. She is a Holistic Intuitive Therapist, and Eating Disorders Expert and Mentor. Lisa has helped hundreds of women and teenaged girls heal their eating and body-related issues for the past 20-plus years. Lisa has developed a unique system providing an amazing collection of techniques blending psychology, EMDR, guided imagery and relaxation, energy medicine, and spiritual traditions to help women and teens shift old patterns and beliefs. Visit https://www.intuitivebody.com for more information, or contact Lisa at lisa@intuitivebody.com or call 978.772.0009.
