Beauty & the Beast
A couple of years ago I read a wonderful book on bulimia, called Sensing The Self by Sheila Reindl. She used the story of Beauty and the Beast as a metaphor to illuminate aspects of bulimia, although it fits for most overeaters I know as well.
Beauty and the Beast has always been a popular fairy tale- you probably remember some version of it, right? It’s basically about a very very good girl, an unselfish and caring girl who took care of everyone around her while smiling and singing at all times. She even sacrificed herself for her father’s wellbeing and agreed to be imprisoned by the Beast.
The Beast could not be more different from Beauty- he is demanding, rude, and has a very bad temper. He spends most of his time in hiding- although joins Beauty when she eats. Everyone around him is terrified of his angry outbursts.
As you know, the happy ending comes when Beauty learns to coax the beast out of hiding and love him, in spite of his imperfections. When she does, he magically transforms into her Prince.
Women and teens with who binge or overeat enact parts of this story every day. They live in fear of their anger, or their neediness, or some form of not being “nice”. They do all sorts of things to try and tame the Beast- they try to put their own needs aside, take care of others around them, and not let anyone get too close, trying to keep the Beast from being seen.
Sometimes they don’t even realize there is a Beast- they are so afraid of their own range of feelings that they have kept imprisoned, that the intensity driving their eating disorder remains a mystery to them.
Other times, women know their “beastly” side quite well, it’s their Beauty who has been hidden away and who remains unknown and unseen.
The truth is, we all have a Beauty and we all have a Beast. The trouble starts when we are given a message that all of our inner-aspects are not welcome at the table, so to speak.
Healing an eating disorder requires us to come into wholeness, to get to know all of these aspects of ourselves, without judgment. Just like in the fairy-tale, it is only when we can look at these parts with love and compassion, that dreams can come true, and we can live happily and consciously connected to our selves.
Try this- Get your journal or some paper and reflect on the beauty and beast within you. Which parts do you try to keep in hiding, fearing that they are ugly and unacceptable, or even dangerous? What are the fears about letting these parts be seen or allowing them to express in the world? What were you taught about being “nice”, or not?
How far have you gone to keep Beauty out in front and center, trying to hide the Beast?
We can all relate to this fairy tale around our feelings about our eating, or weight or parts of ourselves that we fear and try to keep from emerging. When we face them with love and compassion, we too can find the happiness and love we long for.
