One of the (many) problems with diets and why they truly don’t work has to do with the recommendations coming from outside of you. My clients whom have tried sooo many methods to tame their obsessions with food and weight have been burned too many times, and are no longer willing to just do it because an “expert” says so.
You probably know by now that the patterns of eating that leave you feeling ashamed and powerless, are really not at the heart of the matter anyways. It’s more about your broken heart- ways you have been hurt, or mistreated, and ways that relationships continue to disappoint you in ways that you don’t have skills to cope with. Eating is just the way you block out painful feelings and painful beliefs about yourself or others. The eating is like other addictions- it’s purpose is to help you numb or block or disconnect from things that you aren’t sure how to handle… things that you may not realize make you feel vulnerable- because the instant you eat something it becomes about the food- you don’t even get a chance to know what’s really bugging you most of the time.
So there is already a LOT going on that a food plan is not going to fix. That losing weight is NOT going to fix. It’s about being able to move the food obsession to the side for long enough to really identify and work on how to live your life more comfortably- to be able to speak up for yourself, stop people-pleasing and putting your needs last, to learn to set good boundaries that allow you to feel safe in relationships. Stuff like that which ideally you would have learned as a kid, but so many people don’t.
When somebody tries to give you their latest diet (usually a rehash of some earlier diet that didn’t work either) every cell in your body is going to quickly scream “nooooooooo”. And that’s a good thing. This is a whole-person problem. And even though it may not feel this way to you much of the time, only you can be the expert on you.
For example- only you know
- How much change is comfortable for you in the moment
- Which foods make you feel your best
- Which foods trigger addictive eating or cravings
- Where do you feel capable and strong and where do you feel less so
I named my business “Intuitive Body” partly because the goal of the work I do is that you learn to come back into a deep and trusting connection to your true self- the self that can access your spirit’s divine spark and the guidance that comes through for each of us when we know how to get quiet and listen.
It’s really hard to reconnect and trust yourself when your guidance is all muddied up with food cravings, obsessions, guilt and shame, and everything else that you struggle with around your eating. We can get those out of your way- and then, watch things start to change. You will even be able to deal with having some sort of food plan because the other stuff won’t be making you crazy (pls excuse the expression!)
I have never been a diet coach, never will be. My work is to help you heal the disconnections between you and your body, between your spirit and your personality, between your mind and your body that will never be separate even if you treat them that way. It’s a big complex mish mash of interconnections that can only be addressed holistically, and in a way that is specifically right for you. And you are meant to claim your power around all of this- which is why you can’t wait to go off a diet, or get started on one without feeling the despair running through your entire being.
What are your experiences around this? I alway say, if you are “my” client, then weight watchers, or any of the commercial diets will no longer work for you, and maybe never worked for you- maybe once, literally once. But after that… nope, nothing.
And, please hear me on this, it’s really not your fault!
You will need to work closely with somebody who can support you in figuring out what changes you are able or ready to make. It’s an intuitive journey, requiring lots of faith, willingness, and courage. It’s a brand new way of being conscious, that will ripple positively into other areas of your life, where you will also learn to trust yourself and what you are ready to do or not.
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