What Would Happen If You Got What You Wanted?

You aren’t happy at this weight.

You don’t like your body.

You can’t seem to bring in the income you want.

Relationships never go the way you wish they would.

Or something like that. There is something you want that you don’t see yourself as being able to have. Most of us feel stuck somewhere. And the place you feel stuck occupies a lot of space. You may talk about it a lot, try to fix it by reading books or hiring people to find solutions, or spend a lot of time worrying about it. You may have also developed a lot of negative critical beliefs about why you’re stuck, what this means about you, what a bad person you are, and all sorts of other pieces that now are adding even more angst to the original sense of powerlessness about the thing that you aren’t getting.

There’s usually a little more going on. Like fear. Old deep dark fear buried where you can’t see it or really find it sometimes. A friend and I were chatting about this yesterday.Messages given when you were too small to even remember them or register them completely.

Sometimes the messages were benign, and sometimes they weren’t. But your young little self heard and went “uh oh”….and made note… tread carefully because to get this or be that or become more or bigger or shinier or whatever could just be very dangerous (and from your little self’s perspective it really would have been at that time).

So back to present time. And feeling stuck.

Ask yourself what would happen if you got what you really want. Get to the first level of the good stuff, what you’d “get” and how that feel. But go a little further. What else might you put into motion?

If you can stick with this inquiry a bit you’ll see where the old fear are just lying in wait, holding you by the ankles keeping you from moving forward, sabotaging you at every turn in spite of how much you truly feel like you want what you say you want.

Because other things come with the fantasy of getting what you want.

It could be that others will be jealous of you, and the fear is that they will love you less and leave you.

Or there’s always the fear of being thought “too big for your britches”, and there too you will be loved less and left. More abandonment for you.

Of another version of this- the fear of that if you get what YOU want, others will be left behind, suffering and getting less. And you won’t be able to tolerate that feeling.

The point is that you want to follow the question of “What would happen if I suddenly got what I wanted” to ALL of the pieces that you imagine… imagine being the operative word here. Because it’s really about what you fear that is holding you hostage and keeping you from shining your brightest light that attracts the kind of outcomes you long for.

Do a little bit of poking around beyond the obvious outcome of what you imagine what you want, to what else might occur, to what you really FEAR would happen, and you’ll have a better shot being able to quiet those fears with some here-and-now solutions.

The fears are based on past scenarios- when you were small and dependent and had no voice and no power. Now you do and can negotiate for yourself in the world, and find ways to manage feelings and obstacles as they come up, or to find ways to get solid support to learn how.

This is really how you get what you want. Uncover the fears that are truly holding you back, let them have their “say”, and see how you can then move forward knowing what you know and treating the fears with some respect as you plot your course.

WIth love from my heart to yours-

 

Lisa