Do you find yourself powerfully drawn, or attracted to certain people? I do – and I pay attention when this happens for me. There’s always a big message.
So last night, my husband was out, my teenage sons were doing their own thing in their rooms, one of them was quite ill with a virus, and I was winding down. I scrolled through my growing list of unwatched-Oprah on our DVR and chose to watch the episode Kirstie Alley had taped a week or so ago.
If you know me, you know I’ve struggled with weight and eating most of my life and my work via IntuitiveBody.com is to help other women who are walking through similar stuff.
I watched Oprah and I watched Kirstie – honestly I was mesmerized. Please know I am praying for some divine writing help here because I want so much to express this well and fear it will sound insane… Kirstie Alley is stunningly beautiful. Her beauty, her creative expression and ability to see something and make it even more beautiful light her up. I was lit up watching her.
She is part of my Tribe, or I am part of hers. And yes of course Oprah too.
A funny thing’s been happening to me over the last several weeks. It’s not altogether new but it’s really getting my attention. The thing that’s happened is that I am having this infatuation or probably it’s true-love with women in heavier bodies. I was at a big seminar two weeks ago and the women I most wanted to connect with were not the “perfect-size-two’s.” Not that I’m judging them…it’s not about that.
This is part of how we make the big big changes. We think that we have to work so hard to change our belief-systems, to love ourselves more, to just accept who we are. And none of these things seems particularly do-able. Because it just doesn’t work that way. Trust me on this, it doesn’t.
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So I begin to remember and notice how many women I find seriously gorgeous that have bodies more like mine than the ones in magazines. I have a womanly body – I am pretty much all breasts and butt. And I take really good care of myself. And I am blessed with features that others find attractive.
And yet it’s been incredibly difficult to get out of my mindset of not-thin-enough-so-not-acceptable….enough. It’s incredibly tedious to be me at times, and certainly for those who have loved me, friends, family, husband(s).
When I look at Kirstie Alley, or Queen Latifah (another woman I find completely gorgeous) or so many women I am blessed to work with or meet, I see what i often miss in myself. They are funny, creative-geniuses, sensual, generous, big-hearted and beautiful.
The contrast between that expansive visceral uplifting experience, and the notion of having to lose weight to accept ourselves and feel accepted in this culture is shocking.
Listen, this is definitely NOT the best piece of writing I’ve ever shared. Because it’s very hard to convey what this feels like, it’s more energetic than verbal, but I wanted to try to say at least some of it.
It’s so much easier to see somebody else’s perfection and magnificence than our own. I know this every day as I love and soothe and hold the vision for each of my beloved clients. Some day I hope I can love myself as purely as I love them – I have the gift of seeing through the eyes of the Divine, and being able to convey that so that they can take steps that feel just-right for them.
For you and I what I wish today is this – that somebody see you, see you in all of your divine beauty and blessings and reflect that back to you in their eyes.
I adore Kirstie Alley because in seeing her on television through eyes that were clear, I saw everything I needed to love myself a little more today. I can’t wait to follow her new show on the A&E network, not sure when that begins.
Listen – Our spirits whisper to us simply and through the path of least resistance – my DVR.
If this sounded corny or whatever, I know you’ll understand. We’re not always at ease with love, with acceptance, with opening our hearts. Look around and see what moves you, what and whom you can love without judgment. This will feel good.
I want that for you.
Love love love and xox-
Jessica says
Ah, yes, it’s so powerful when we realize that we don’t have to connect with the people we’re "supposed" to connect with, isn’t it–when we really get that *our* people are the folks who resonate with us and that doesn’t have to diminish the people we don’t feel as connected to; they’re just not our people (at least not at that moment). It was delightful to read about the clarity you’re finding on this! Thanks for sharing.