One of my favorite online bloggers, writers, women is Carla Birnberg of MizFitOnline.com. Yes she knows fitness and health but it’s her passion for everything, including parenting her daughter and finding her own way of doing things that melts my heart and inspires me (and her huge devoted readership). She ain’t no misfit.. she’s a powerful voice and a wayshower.. of integrity and strength and compassion.
I was so honored to write this guest post for her blog last week..it is a passionate piece for me. So much of what I wish I could give anyone who is feeling stuck or uninspired, or weighed down with the old familiar ways of seeing themselves. The women who have read it so far (my clients, and some of the women that commented on Carla’s site) took pieces of the message to heart.. which fills my heart.
Here it is.. as it appeared on the Mizfitonline.com blog last week..
A Different Kind of Makeover..Not The Kind You Think..
I’ve been watching Carla for years.
She was one of my first 5 friends on Twitter.. true. She inspired me to get my (big, incredibly painful Isis tattoo) after she did the Dr. Seuss sleeve. She clearly has a higher pain tolerance than I do. Like all of you, I love her warmth, her commitment, her real-live way of making it work on her own terms.
Here’s something you might consider, I hope it adds to your becoming more yourself, in all of the best ways.
One of the commonalities I’ve seen in women that make the big changes in their lives has been particularly interesting to me lately. But it really shouldn’t be…Once I named it for myself, it seemed obvious, but prior to that it hadn’t been as clear.
The women who contact me often hire me quickly. There is a certain kind of readiness. Sometimes it comes from a sense of “I have to do something” or a point of pain that gets their attention.
And sometimes it’s some of that mixed with something else. The something else is they begin to catch a whiff of who they are becoming. They sense who they could be in a stronger way than ever before.
The vision is bigger than the fear..and the excuses that come with fear.
Letting go of old patterns that create barriers to what your heart desires, on one level seems like it “should” be fairly simple (obviously we know it isn’t). If you’re unhappy, if you aren’t getting the things that you want and have a sense of what’s in the way it makes sense to drop those behaviors and find other ways to do things.
And yet it’s typically more complex than that. In our minds anyways. Which is where most of the push and pull takes place. What we believe we can or can’t tolerate.. how much discomfort there will be and whether we believe we are worthy of the challenge, fears of how big shifts in behaviors and choices may shake things up.
And it’s true.. there are shake ups when you get clear on who you are and begin to leave the rest behind. People around you may not love you for changing things up. But that’s a very big other topic. And if you’re in the midst of a breakthrough, you’re going to have to keep all of your focus on what you want most for you right now. Seriously.
But it’s also in our minds that it all unfolds, almost like magic when certain things are in place. And the big something I’ve noticed lately is when a woman, a woman really no different than you in any particular way, gets a whiff of a real vision for herself, what felt like obstacles are no longer a big deal.
Whether it’s changing your level of fitness, your weight, how you feed your beautiful body, or who you include in your inner-circle..the truth is that once you find the clarity of a new identity (what I call your Divine Identity), when it clicks in as something you finally see and feel for yourself.. the actions become inspired and not especially arduous.
The big deal is breaking through the heaviness of the identity you’ve been dragging around. The one you’re really attached to. The one you can’t quite believe isn’t wholly and completely “you”.
It’s hard to modify that one. The breakthrough comes as more of a “swap”. Just as you no longer wear the outfits (do you?!) that you wore in junior high because you’ve outgrown them. You found a new “look” for yourself..it’s a bit like that.
Here’s how you know what that identity, the one you’re stuck to might be. Over the course of a couple of days, listen closely to a very particular way that you’re defining yourself. Specifically what follows the words “I Am” in your daily language? You may be rolling your eyes right about now, even tempted to stop reading this (I am a bit long-winded in most posts, but hang in..).
You’ll get a very clear, if not particularly inspired, sense of the exact shape and size of your current self-identity. It may sound something like “I am so out of shape”, “I am so out of control with eating this week”, ” I am never going to get into those jeans”, “I am always like this”… You get a sense of what I’m saying. I didn’t say this was a fun exercise. But knowing where you are helps you know what you want to create.
The reason you’re reading this blog and others like it is to catch the energy of another kind of belief..
A different vision, other potential ideas that you’re putting in your back pocket. “for later”. But real change comes in present-time, in you making the decision to shine in the world.
This is an identity makeover…
Just the parts weighing you down (yes, pun intended.. those beliefs are energetic ‘weight’). The parts that support you, that bring you love and connection and wellness and confidence.. hold on to those.
In my 25 years of helping women with eating and weight related issues, the biggest shifts occur when women change their identity. In the present.. not in the “Someday when I …” way.
It happens on a dime when your vision gets crystal-clear and you’re holding it and can feel it in a visceral way, it becomes a beacon calling you forward-even if what you see in the mirror is not yet matching up. You live a new presence, new beliefs, walk in a new energy and it shows before you lose an ounce. You feel it course through you, and can’t help but begin to take small actions.
It’s a makeover that lights you up from the inside and informs every choice you make from the moment you fully connect with it. It’s yours, and your Intuitive Body knows exactly how to guide you.
It’s a gorgeous beautiful thing to witness, and to live. I want that for you.
With love from my heart to yours…
**Are you feeling like it’s time for a makeover, a shift, that you want to harness some new energy for yourself? I have a beautiful 6-week intensive package, which is using a very new cutting edge technique from my teacher Colette Baron-Reid, combined with my work to move you quickly into your Divine Identity. In 6 weeks you can have a breakthrough around your body/weight, or around your relationship patterns (pick the focus for your package). I have 2 spots for May. Email me at Lisa at IntuitiveBody dot com..
Christie says
OK so I’m committing to that not so fun exercise and I’m going to see what “I am” brings up! The first thing that came to mind instantly is I am too tired to do xyz. Which is a little bit true because of a cold that kept me up sniffling last night. But it’s also a little bit more than that!
amy says
Great article! I need to start thinking about what is truly in my way and what I need to do to make myself over!
Tracey Ceurvels says
The more I’ve felt like myself and the more I am in touch with my vision (making over myself), the more people I’ve had to shed—this is something I just noticed when reading this. I don’t see it as a trade-off though. Being comfortable in my own skin and moving to the beat of my own drum is what’s important.
Leah Shapiro says
I love this Joel Olsteen quote- “Anything that follows “I AM” is going to come looking for you.”
I love your work and perspective Lisa! The way you frame this practice is very powerful.
The “I am” work that you suggest is very powerful. I do “I am” statements when I am ready to expand into my next level of being. I found the practice so powerful I made it part of my group program.
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
I adore the idea of a ‘Divine Identity’. The sense of being good about who I am right now is definitely swimming against the tide of our culture. You have made some excellent points about coming back into the now.
Lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Helen says
Wow I never really thought about it like that, but yes I suppose that makes sense. Carrying emotional baggage in the form of outdated thoughts is like being “spiritually” overweight! And I pride myself on being a UK size 10! Hee hee!
Time to go on a negativity diet with Lisa, people! 😀
Jessica says
I’m a little scared, but I’m hopping on board. I’m committing to practice noticing the “I am” moments. I don’t expect to be happy about it, but I am curious to see what happens on the other side. And I can think of several others who need to join me in this, so I’ll be sharing it with friends, too.