I work with clients every day, all of whom are quite clear about what they want, and what they don’t. Helping women articulate even more deeply and clearly the ways in which they want to create change in their life is one of my greatest pleasures, and deeply satisfying for me personally and professionally.
It’s a sacred moment when you share somebody’s venturing towards connection with their longings, and vision for themselves. The specific goal or vision is not as important as what happens when they connect with it- all of a sudden, you see and feel their shift- they have made a connection to something that transcends daily life and their typical way of being with themselves. In the moments of deeper connection to their soul, and the ways they are meant to give of themselves and shine their light in this lifetime, they are uplifted and clear and unemcumbered by any sense of limitation.
And then things change…..Although we’ve laid out a really good plan, one that includes comfortable first steps and ways to make the action even more comfortable via meditations and energy-healing and self care……something happens. We’ve all been there, and experienced this before…
Fear joins the scene. (oh, Hel-lo Fear…) Our fears of leaving the known path, even when it’s in service of moving forward towards what we KNOW we want so so clearly..
Fear trumps desire and intention more times than not, when we try to change.
This can be very hard on the client, and truthfully on me! It’s way more fun to live in that high of creation energy, hopefulness and dreaming of all of the good that we want for ourselves.
However, no matter how much you want to change or even have really good reasons for change, we will always need to let the Fear “have it’s say”, as I say! We have to make space for the fear to have it’s say or it will really ruin everything. You always want to invite Fear to the party so it can say it’s piece, leaving you free to move forward.
I know this may sound counter-intuitive, but if you try to deny Fear or any other strong “negative” emotion it’s “say”, it will find a way to get your attention! Remember the “bad fairy” that didn’t get invited to Sleeping Beauty’s birthday party?! Reminds me of certain people in my life…
It’s really smart to meet with Fear and have a chat about what it needs to let you create and pursue everything you want, otherwise it has a nasty passive-aggressive way of paralyzing you and whispering bad things in your ear until you totally forget your dreams and visions. Know what I mean?
It’s true, isn’t it? (just say “yes lisa” at this part). How many times has Fear stopped you in your tracks? Last week I had a client all ready to take some really exciting but manageable steps that would have made a big difference in her ability to manage her binges and cravings. We had a fabulous session. And I’m really good at this- after decades of this work, I know intuitively how to create steps that are “just right” for my clients, just like Goldilocks- not too big not too little, just right. And yet…
If you are not prepared for Fear to show up and distract you with it’s ugly little songs and dances, you will give up and blame yourself and judge and label yourself. Don’t go there- it’s just Fear having it’s say.
We will listen, we will listen very respectfully to be exact.
Fear has some important things to teach you about moving forward, and it’s really helpful to listen and see how you can use this information to make your journey more comfortable and a better fit for you. Fear can be your friend- it tells you what are the big triggers that you need to plan for and watch for, it illuminates the sometimes-hidden beliefs that can halt all movement. It can also tell you about timing- which things you would be better off doing first, and which to save for later after you have more confidence and all.
I have learned to love and respect Fear- mine and yours. The truth is it’s not showing up to ruin things for you, it just wants to help, and it wants your attention.
If you can listen and translate it’s messages, you will have a much easier time getting to where you want. Your plan will be a better fit for you, and will be less fraught (fraught, is that really a word, it looks weird on the page) with anxiety or self-doubt.
And that’s good, right?
I want that for you- good feels good.
As always sending you lots of love and blessings-
PS Am still working on my new programs for you- my Fear stopped by for awhile and I had to spend some time with it, I know you understand!!!