I have been hearing a lot of people talking about “surrender” lately. It’s a popular spiritual topic that’s now being used by the online-marketing crowd a lot. But it’s really not new, and although it can be applied to business and money-making, it’s much more personal than that.
From my personal perspective, I see the theme of surrender sweeping our planetary consciousness right now. So many of the social ills that we see now have to do with trying to hold onto things- money, status, power, identity, and more.
Many years ago, my spiritual teacher gave our class a copy of the beautiful “The Hopi Elders Speak”. The words and images from that message have been playing in my mind a lot lately. (** See below for the writing).
I can feel in my own life that where I am holding on because of being too afraid to let go may be costing me.
When I went to hear Caroline Myss in March, she spoke powerfully about how much we hold onto things in service of our ego. How afraid we are of feeling humiliated, of feeling not-good-enough (just typed not “god” enough- interesting slip, huh?). I know that she’s right.
As much as I am a big truth-teller about myself, I really hate to admit how much I identify with some of my “stuff”- how much I want to be seen a certain way and so hold on to things which may not actually be supporting me anymore.
For example- my biggest attachment regarding “stuff” is easily our house. My husband Andy and I were musing about this over coffee earlier. I LOVE this house- it is the house I always dreamed of, an 1850
s antique farmhouse, attached barn, gorgeous land, tons of privacy (other than fronting onto busy street). This is MY HOUSE! My parents were both designers, and I have lovingly created this home room by room with my own paintbrushes.
And as with many of the things or people we are passionately in love with, there are often spiritual “lessons” that present themselves. In this case, in spite of the often overwhelming challenges of maintaining this kind of house and property (3 oil burning furnaces anyone? .. just for example) we practically weep when we think of maybe having to leave it.
LIving here challenges us deeply in every way- our financial fears, which permeate absolutely everything, get magnified big time living here. No matter how hard we lovingly tend, and maintain, and create, and try to stay on top of things, we typically feel we are in WAY over our heads.
Loving this house and our way of living here- the gardens, the new bees/beekeeping, the land, the boys’ music space, etc etc, means that we are living in a fair amount of fear, all the time.
All the time….. sigh.
I will not bore you with all the details of the real estate market, or the challenges of maybe selling here, or what’s been invested or what might be lost….
What I am beginning to really understand is that it may not be the “lesson” to learn to manage this house, or make enough money to get out of fear, or whatever.
The real lesson may be that if you let go of the coal you are clutching so tightly in your fist, and open up your hand, that God will put diamonds there instead.
NOOOOO, my ego and heart scream, I love it here, this is my perfect house, the land is enchanted, there’s so much that we’ve done here and created and it’s ours (sorry, wailing is not pretty even in print).
And yet I can feel that deep intuitive knowing becoming more tangible. And on that level I know, I don’t really have to know right now HOW we will sell the house, or HOW we will resituate our family and multiple dogs and businesses and hearts….
I know from experience that when it’s time to shift, if you loosen your grip and trust, if I just surrender into trust and faith that have carried me so beautifully and wisely and well for 52 years, that it will all unfold.
My favorite saying to soothe myself and others has for many years been “It’s all unfolding in Divine Order”.
I always want to believe it, I love the words, and their energy always feels deeply true to my soul. The rest of me feels really really scared and yet within that I can feel the kernel of protection and knowing I am cared for and guided.
What are you holding onto that might need to be let go of? As in all big spiritual challenges, it will probably be something or somebody really important to you. That’s what makes it so challenging, right? I mean it’s easy to let go of stuff you don’t really care about.
Answer this question for yourself- let me know what you hear, just below your every day consciousness, you might hear the tiny whisperings of what wants to show up for you. But we have to be willing to let it in, and the willingness may often mean letting go of something else.
Holding on is ok- until it isn’t! And if you are paying attention you will know where you are on the issue. Writing this is scaring me big-time, it’s marking the inkling of my surrender around the house and it’s a big deal. And that’s where the faith and trust come in handy, because for sure I cannot create or engineer this big a change on my own.
Am turning this over to the Divine- and going about my day.
Wishing you much love and every blessing-