There is a certain kind of craziness that is particularly evident during the holidays.. at least to me.I suspect you know what I’m talking about if you think about it for a minute. So as always in our culture, anything even minimally celebratory pretty much becomes about the food right? No judgment here, it is what it is.
Do you have to torture yourself over the holidays? Is that really how you want to spend your energies? Wouldn’t it be nice just to enjoy the festivities? Yes, this is the season of over-indulging… it just may not be all that realistic, especially if you have issues with eating/food/or weight to expect it to be different when food is so ubiquitous. Wouldn’t it just make sense to begin to make peace with it for a little while as opposed to making it worse with all of the judgment and push-pull?
I was talking with a client during open calling hours last night- she was worried about attending a cousin’s Hannukah gathering and afraid of eating too many potato pancakes and other things. My advice to her was to enjoy the seasonal foods and not worry about it. And then to focus on spending time with friends and family since that was what the holidays were really about anyways, right? For her, it was hard to not make it be about the food… she still felt hijacked by the lure of should she or shouldn’t she and all of the food-related issues taking on so much meaning. Sigh… it’s exhausting isn’t it?
You can’t have it both ways, you can’t be in two places at once and yet I watch my clients and other women do this all the time. If you are going to choose to eat a certain way, please do so and enjoy it. Lean into it and embrace the choice and accept that you have chosen. But get off the battlefield. Stop judging yourself, hating your body, making yourself wrong, obsessing about all of it. Trust me, no good can come from this kind of warring whether it’s about eating or anything else. Make a choice in any given moment and stand by it. Really choose and then get out of the judgment. This is such a powerful practice. This is sanity, maturity, good mental hygiene among other things.
Trying to make the holidays a time of restraint around food doesn’t make a ton of sense. However, if you are going to do that, then really do what you need to do and clear a path for yourself. All I am saying is that living in the torture of doing something and then spending the rest of the time judging yourself and punishing yourself is not helpful on any level. Decide what your values are, what actions will best support you in any situation, and make your move. And then don’t judge.
Only you know what the best choices are for you, and believe me you absolutely DO know. The problem comes when you don’t listen to the guidance that’s whispering (or screaming) for your attention and land in the conflict that results. You know what you need, whether it’s indulgence or restraint. Get clear, take action, and live in the peace and wellbeing that is your right. Nothing feels better than that.
Enjoy.. relax.. indulge in ways that feel just right for you, you’ll know in each moment what that is if you feel your way through. No rules, just intuition, so much easier yes?
I wish you every blessing, much beauty, boundless love, and great peace this season…
Yours In Love and Beauty,
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