When you don’t feel beautiful

I was visiting with a friend of mine recently. And she confided that she had not felt attractive for the past year. She said it in a fairly neutral way, but it was poignant. And I was moved,

And I knew how she felt.
I had a bout of this myself not long ago.
It felt lousy.

We all have days.
And amidst so much turmoil and upheaval in our worlds, it can be challenging to feel our own sparkle. We’re home way too much, have gotten used to our couch clothes.

But of course it’s more than that.

It feels more like a disconnection from our self.
Like we can’t find our own magic.
Like we are not able to remember our true beauty and worth.

The feeling is heavy, dense, and pervasive.
It trickles into everything.

And as I am writing, I realize it’s a very lonely feeling.
Your friends will try to buoy you up, if you even tell them.
Most people will be uncomfortable with your discomfort and try to either negate how you feel… or come at you with ways to ‘fix it’.

As I have said many times, I believe in taking your feelings and needs seriously. Something is talking to you.
Something wants your attention.

And it may or may not be about your appearance, but for sure it’s hard to feel beautiful or ‘enough’ if you are in that place of disconnection when it’s hard to remember the all of you, the onliness of you, the majesty of the creation that is you.

One of my spiritual teachers who died last year, used to say that when we consider the Divine as an artist, everything changed.
I loved that.

I believe in starting small, but only always.

I believe small tiny daily actions are less disruptive and easier to sustain. Which build true momentum. Slow and steady. Which most people resist, because it doesn’t feel as sexy as fast+furious~but it works.

Sometimes all it take is a commitment to make your bed, keep your home relatively uncluttered, and taking a walk daily.

The feeling of keeping promises to yourself regularly pays off big time. You actually FEEL better, feel good about yourself.. And then you might take another little step, maybe you start adding more fruit and vegetables to your day, Maybe you pull out your yoga mat, or play with art supplies.

I am not talking about big beauty makeovers.
Those are not lasting. I have nothing against them but…
What helps in my experience, personally and professionally, are the small daily sustainable choices that make you feel grounded, cared for, that make your environment more comforting. The practices that bring you into your body.

Most of my clients are highly empathic.
And many of them come to me to heal emotional eating patterns that have dogged them for a long time.
They feel everything deeply.
They take a LOT on… others’ emotions and woes among other things. They tend to get caught in perfectionism to feel like ‘enough’ and get caught in all-or-nothing thoughts and patterns.

And there is nothing beautiful in that… ever.. it’s a soul sucking game.

Feeling beautiful is when you trust yourself, and follow your #intuitivebody, trust yourself to take small steps towards what feels best in your unique body and life, and to fill yourself with more of YOUR SELF. You are hungry for more of YOU!

That is the medicine and the magic.

When you are feeling that disconnect, it is a sign that something is off, that something has disconnected, that something in you needs tending in a more loving consistent way.

Start small.
ALL or nothing sweeps of too-big intentions will crash you and make you feel worse when you can’t keep them up. Don’t do it.

It’s the end of a long slog of a winter.
It has taken its toll and two years of pandemic life… well.. you know.

AND..//My favorite thing is when somebody I have never talked with, or somebody I haven’t connected with in a awhile, responds to my email. REaches out, tells me a bit of their experience, Maybe schedules a complimentary coaching (not sales, coaching) call with me. If you feel brave and want a little boost.. I am here, just hit the reply key.. You will hear from me within hours, and your note will only EVER be seen by my eyes. Do it.
All my love to you xo lisa