Why I Love You..What I See When I Look At You

I refused to write a Valentine’s Day post this year.. it just felt too formulaic and I didn’t want it to be “because it was Valentine’s Day”. But in my deep work with clients, part of the format is that most of my individual client work includes getting daily connection..there is something special we do with email, so I get lots and lots of glimpses of them over time. I am pretty sure they know that I care about them. I do know that they feel seen and understood in a very different way than probably ever before. That’s what I do..

I love what I see in them, what I come to know about them. They are a special sort.. a definite “type”, the women that find me. Behind the specific pieces that they want support and guidance around, there are bright lights and great gifts. These are women, that for me, have been easy to love.

Writing this makes me a little bit weepy because the work is so personal, and this may sound a bit cliched, I hope not, but I do feel so honored to be let in, in the ways that I have been. To be allowed in especially when somebody isn’t necessarily feeling all bright and shiny. To build a relationship when we aren’t typically in the same room, but meeting on Skype across the many miles, sometimes continents.

What I love about you is sometimes what you have not loved about yourself so much. Or maybe haven’t seen in quite the right light. One of my repeat-through-the-life-cycle clients, somebody whom I’ve watched grow up, who comes back and checks in at important junctures and for refreshers or perspective wrote to me last night and said that I am like her “good mirror”, changing her reflection in ways have been meaningful.

Being a good mirror for you is the best thing I could hope to be in my work. Here is some of what I see and love in you.

What I love about you is your heart, and how deeply you feel things. You are a sensitive..it’s part of your gift.

What I love about you is how generous you are, how much you give, even though it’s something that often costs you..you give in ways that matter.

What I love about you is how moved by your senses you are…you so appreciate beauty.. the look and feel of things, the tastes, and sounds and smells..You’ll notice details most people never catch.

What I love about you is your fearless love of expression…and your willingness to do it in all sorts of formats. Loving gestures crafted just so. An email, a conversation, a journal entry or a blog post. You’re becoming a truth-teller.. have been one all along, even though it may have been thwarted for a bit.

What I love about you is your loyalty and passion for who and what you are loyal to..

What I love about you is watching your fears evolve, your ability to trust yourself and others expand, your knowing of your own talents solidify, your voice become clear and daring, and your heart stay open and expansive while also learning that not everyone gets in the door anymore, not without good behavior.

What I love about you is seeing you in motion..day to day, as the weeks of our work together go by..your willingness to be guided and seen and how much inspiration and life-force energy you create in our co-creative collaborations.

What I love about you is watching you always always growing towards the light.

What I love about you is the beginning, the middle, and not so much the finishing of our beautiful work together. I am not good at saying goodbye, even when I know you are ready, even when it’s time and there is completion. It’s what is true.. with good relationships and deep work come some of that.

I was never a very traditional psychotherapist.. but even when I was and had a VERY traditional psychoanalytic supervisor as a trainee…she said to me “To be good at this I believe you have to love your patients a little”. She was so right.. and I have been so blessed in my work with women whom I find so easy to love. Showing you how to love yourself more, in ways that are uniquely you, is divine.

If you’d like to know more about my work with women like you, you might want to watch this video interview here.

With love from my heart to yours..