You’ve heard me talk about creating more functional boundaries for yourself and my clients hear me talk all the time about “protection”. And of taking your needs seriously.
And what this means is to begin to look at the aspects of your life where you are sacrificing yourself, engaging in practices or behaviors or particularly relationships that aren’t feeling so great. Things that you’ve gotten used to, you’ve acclimated to and haven’t necessarily even thought to question.
For example..I’ve been working with a client, in her late 20’s..somebody who is really making use of all of the new perspective and pieces. As we began to work together, she became more conscious overall where the “weight” was in her life.. especially in relationships. She honed in on the lousy ex-boyfriend she’d recently broken up with, the bitchy boss whose managerial style was lacking in most ways, and her relationships with members of her family where she was trying to please individuals in ways that were both impossible and that were costing her.
Then, as if on cue, three friends from her hometown each behaved badly.. really badly, in ways that my newly-evolving client couldn’t (and didn’t want to) ignore.
As she was getting clear on who she was becoming, on her vision for herself, and beginning to separate from the beliefs of who she “thought” she was (mostly beliefs that others’ had projected onto her), these relationships came up for review.
She was paying attention to how she wanted to feel and faced with live-multiple-choice…this is what was in front of her..
(A.)She could try to negotiate new ground rules in the relationships, rules and boundaries that were more respectful, kind, generous. And of course this is ideal.. if you are dealing with people who are capable of such changes.. which oftentimes is a very big “if”.
(B.)She could turn a blind eye, make excuses for them, complain about the way things were or the way they treated her, feel put out, or victimized, or resentful.. or all of the above.
Or (C.) she could recognize that some of these relationships had run their course, and find ways to say goodbye.
As I said, none of these choices is easy. But only choices A or C will result in a kind of weight loss. Choice number B..will keep you stuck and weighed down in the same painful patterns..maybe even turning to food.
Add protective boundaries, create more respectful relationship expectations, clean out the energetic-closet of who is taking up space in your life, your heart, your emotional energy field.. and you will absolutely feel lighter.
You may also feel other things.. changing these patterns challenges you to look at yourself and others differently. To allow yourself to want more.. to want better…and to teach others to interact with you in new ways.
But your energy will soar.. as will your self-esteem and confidence. You will not be drained or weighed-down by relationships and interactions that hurt or diminish or drain the life out of you.
Who is weighing you down? Even asking yourself this question takes guts. Can’t change it if you don’t name it first..Just start there for now.
And…if you want to get more articles and fresh perspective delivered straight to your inbox.. and you already kind of know this goes way beyond food and exercise…please sign up for my newsletter and my ebook gift to you in the right hand corner of this page.
With great love from my heart to yours..