I notice a certain kind of apathy that begins this time of year.. not just around wellness habits with eating or exercise but overall. People start to play the waiting game…start to use external events to dictate how they will or won’t respond to their needs. Remember the old and very wise saying.. “No time like the present?”.. it’s a good one.
One of my biggest mentoring tenets is “Take Your Needs Seriously”. It’s incredibly common for women to minimize what they need and when they need it. This can range from needing to get more sleep, to knowing they need a vacation, or some time alone during the day, to giving up something that is “costing” them, like continuing to eat something they’re really sensitive to.
And this is the time of year, when more than any other, you are more likely to prolong the agony.. or put off what you know will support you until… until after this holiday is over, or that holiday is over.. or ALL the holidays are over.. until the New Year.
Does that work? Seriously, has that ever worked for you?
It’s a myth and most of us know it. I get that in the moment you may get a bit of relief by investing in the myth.. believing that things will be different on some magical date that our culture collectively invests a whole lotta energy in.. New Year’s Day.. but let’s see if we can shift this a bit so that you can support yourself in new ways.. ways that truly serve you.
If you play the waiting game.. the everything will be different in the future game.. the I’ll start Monday game.. you’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting yourself first of all because you’re telling yourself one of what I lovingly call “The Big Lies”. This is a big lie. What you want, what you believe versus the action you are taking are out of whack. You are not acting congruently. This causes suffering and shame.. And hiding.
If you think about it you will see how this may apply to you.
When it’s time for something to shift.. it’s time now. Your intuition speaks to you in present-time. You will hear the whispers and the calls.. now. Unless you’ve been ignoring them for awhile. Waiting longer and making some external date.. when the kids go back to school, after I finish this project at work, when… fill in the blank.. is giving all of your guidance away to something outside of yourself.. It doesn’t work. You lose the connection that is going to help you the most. Stop it.
It’s tough to make big changes on your own. And yes, having a loving mentor that can see you and help you take your needs seriously and transform them in ways that are just right for you.. is the best most loving thing you can give to yourself.. any time of year.
How about starting with a consultation– One that’s all about you..you already have a sense of the change or challenge that’s nipping at your heels. Women mentoring other women (have you seen our Wise Woman Council?) is an age-old tradition.. wisdom and nurturing handed down.. comfortably but powerfully. Take your self seriously.. and what’s calling to be seen and heard. The Wise Woman Consultation is a beautiful place to begin.
Tracey Ceurvels says
I find myself playing that waiting game this time of year. So many excuses…the holidays, etc. “Oh, I’ll just wait for the New Year until I do x,y and z.” But now is the time: no need to wait until a new year to achieve my goals and dreams. Thank you for the reminder.
Lisa says
Tracey.. my pleasure.. this time of year is a favorite for the “waiting game”..you’re not alone! xox
Chrisite says
I’ve been waiting a while to start running again. It’s winter, right? Who starts running again in winter. Well last weekend my hubby did a 5k and my daughters and I ran/walked the fun run and it jump started me. They had so much fun running circles around me! They want to do more. So no more waiting until spring, there’s a Santa run at the end of the month and we’ll be doing it and I plan to run the whole way this time.
Lisa says
Christie, I love that.. sometimes I love the colder months for walking (no running for me always hated it and after 2 knee surgeries I now have a better excuse)…happy for you that you found easy inspiration… run girl run.. my takeoff on last line of “Camelot”.. xox
Julie Geigle says
I agree ~ Seize the day because after all, tomorrow never really comes. It’s all just happening right here, right now, in the present moment. Great reminder ~ thanks Lisa! ♥
Lisa says
Thanks Julie! It’s always about present time.. so true. xox
Emmanuelle says
I SOOO agree with you – there is no such time as now! My mentor in Consciousness Coaching, Marc Steinberg, always says “the future is now” 😉 A very good way to be in the present!
Lisa says
Love this Emmanuelle.. however we manage to stay in present-time ,is good.. always challenging but always worth it. xox
Sue Burness says
How do I LOVE this Lisa? Let me count the ways…well, firstly I know I’ve bought into this “New Years” thing myself, many times. Secondly I know it’s mostly about making excuses. Thirdly, I noticed just the other day that no matter what I do, I AM getting older and there are still only 24 hours in each day. Fourthly, as a former half-marathon walker, I’ve been be-moaning the fact that I haven’t had time to pursue the sport in the last two years, and have been waiting until I GET TIME. Yikes!!! So, it dawned on me the other day that I could find the time to train carefully to RUN a 5K, in a fraction of the time it would take to train for a walking half-marathon. Bingo, Started three days ago:)
Lisa says
Sue.. cheering you on.. and did you see Christie’s post below? Both of you restarting the running…excited for you and also am a huge fan of modifying goals to build manageable momentum.. slow and steady always always wins the race (in my book anyways..).. love to you-
Jacqueline Fairbrass says
Oooh…read the first line and thought ‘yep, that’s me alright’. It’s so easy to make excuses. Thanks for holding up the mirror here. There’s no time like now!
Lisa says
Jacqueline.. it’s most of us! I love being the mirror.. xox
Michelle says
It’s SO easy to wind up doing the waiting game, and it never works out. There’s been times in the past where I invested in that – and then once the date rolls around, it’s so easy to say “I’ll change at (next milestone).” It’s almost a form of really passive self-abuse. I’m worth enough to invest in myself and give myself what I need NOW, not on New Year’s or at some random date in the future.
Lisa says
THe waiting game… aka “The Big Lies” as I fondly refer to them… we all have our favorites, right? The trick is knowing what our tried and true ones are…such traps and they keep us playing so small.. which never feels good. Love to you ..
Inga Deksne says
Love this, Lisa! I used to wait for Monday, New Year and so on. I still like to celebrate the beginning of each month, but I don’t use it as an excuse to postpone something, every month I start a new challenge for myself and I use it also for planning. I cherish my mini celebrations!
As for New Year, somehow I’m too impatient to wait for new beginnings and that’s why I started implementing my plans for 2013 on the 1st November.this year!
Lisa says
Love all of this Inga.. so great to start when it’s intuitively the right time versus external timing..And mini celebrations keep it fun and reinforce our efforts.. good stuff! xox
Jessica says
YES! I definitely get caught in the “I’ll do it after the holidays” trap at this time of year. You really got me with “intuition speaks in present time” because I’ve made some bad mistakes by ignoring mine. This is food for thought (forgive the pun!)….
Lisa says
Jessica.. YOU??? It’s true about the intuition in present time though… and me too.. biggest mistakes I’ve made were ignoring mine.. big. I love puns, esp about food! love to you..