Before I interview a prospective client to see if they are a good fit for my programs and for me, I have them fill out a questionnaire- The “readiness evaluation”. It’s got several questions that let me know where they’re struggling with their bodies and eating and how close they are to being ready to do something about it.
And if I bet on their answers as to who would be ready and who would not, I would be wrong.. almost always.
When I get these questionnaires back,as they are describing in poignant detail the pain they are in, the various ways these issues are diminishing their sense of worth and more.. the women tell me they “will do anything”, that “persistence is their middle name”, that they are “willing to do whatever it takes”.. you get the idea. And I think that when they write those passionate statements, they believe them.
And yet. It’s. Just. Not. True.
And in our interviews, while we are talking and I am getting to know them, as they talk earnestly about how much pain they are in, how much the patterns they are battling are costing them, everything in me wants to help. KNOWS how to help. Is already formulating a plan and the ways that will be just right for them.. that will absolutely help. And the connection is there, the rapport is there, they are with me.
Until they aren’t. At that moment when it’s time for them to step up and make the decision to take themselves seriously, take their pain that they have painted so vividly… seriously.. when it’s time to say “yes” to all of this and aligning with everything they have told me about so intimately in their writing and during our in depth conversation on the phone or Skype… they back up.
They are too busy. It’s not a good time. They have to wait for the money. Or after the holidays or __________ fill in the blank here.
Now this is not the kind of work that I can sell somebody, nor would I want to. It’s very personal, very powerful, and it will change most aspects of your life…. how you feel about yourself, your relationships, the ways you let people treat you, how much you allow yourself to want.
This is big work..and not everyone is ready for this.
When working with food/eating/bodies.. it’s about the space you create for yourself inside and out. Desire.. how much are you allowed to want. What will you say “yes” and “no” to.. how much will you allow yourself to have.. how bright can you afford to shine? This is a great big huge deal…just so we’re clear.
And most of the time, when prospective clients get a sense of this, they find excuses not to begin. And I get it.. really I do. They truly are not ready to mix it up. In this case, persistence is NOT their middle name! To position themselves differently in the world, to take those risks.. they can’t quite imagine it. And most of this is not conscious, so they make it about the money, or the timing, or how busy they are.
This next part is so important, beyond this post.. and it’s an essential way to understand some of the ways we behave...
What they say they want and need and believe in are at odds with the choices they make. And when your head and your heart are disconnected, when you are NOT living congruently, you will use addictive strategies (like eating) to cope. And when you are living out of congruence, and what you are not living closely attuned to your values and beliefs in one area, it’s a sure bet that you aren’t in others as well. This is a big topic in why women have to use things like overeating to disconnect in the first place…
And this, for me, can be hard to watch.. because I SEE them. I see the beauty of what they are capable of. I see it so quickly that I am already envisioning the transformation, often before we’ve met. And truthfully, sometimes it hurts a bit.
The congruent clients show up.. which feels heaven-sent.
These clients are struggling just as much. They also have a lot going on, their pain has gotten their attention. What’s different is that they are taking themselves seriously.
It’s a really different energy. It’s not particularly about desperation, it’s about a deep kind of knowing that it’s time. They can feel it, they don’t want to block out the intuitive sense that what is essential for them is to surrender to what they know they need.. in spite of maybe imperfect timing.. challenging finances, or whatever else may present as roadblocks.. They make a decision, and when that happens, other things move into place.
I’ve seen this happen, so have you.
When you really want something, when you really believe in it… it’s amazing what will make room for you. Right?
And those are the women who despite fears or whatever is going on for them, come in and create something new for themselves. And that is true pleasure.. a beautiful experience.. a partnership that is sacred. The work that I love and adore and have done for decades.. that I am grateful for day in and out.
So…If your heart and intuitivebody are calling to you and you know it’s time.. even if you have some fears (who doesn’t?) you have a couple of choices. 1. Schedule a Wise Woman Consult with me and let’s dive in to what’s top of mind for you. Or, schedule a complimentary Illumination Round to explore the various options available to Work With Me.
Wishing you love and true courage always..