There is a lot of talk about body-hatred out there. I listen to women a lot. Not just because it’s my job as an intuitive coach and spiritual guide, but out in the world. People tend to see me as extroverted, but the truth is I am an introvert at heart. I like to listen, and observe, staying in my own energies is comfortable and less disruptive to me.
Because I tend to watch and listen, at the market, or in a store, I hear the themes that dominate talk among women and girls. I know you will not find it surprising that talk of bodies and weight dominates many exchanges.
I listen with both sadness and distress when I hear women talk about their bodies. There is a kind of madness inherent in the way women overtly hate their bodies. And in the way that body-hatred is part of how women connect with each other.
I am not referring just to my clients who are in pain around their eating disorders, or feeling out of control around food or relationship challenges.
There is insanity and ugliness in our willingness to betray our spirits, even in the most casual of conversations.
What does it mean, that women regularly betray themselves so regularly and without awareness? How can we possibly live with such hatred of ourselves without paying the price?
We can’t. There is a cost for our endless dissatisfaction with our bodies. Living in a culture where women compare themselves to each other leaves us disconnected from our wholeness, from our essential selves. We are lost within this splitting apart of all of our pieces. We are not embodied. We cannot feel love for the self, and so not for others. We miss out on any kind of true pleasure or intimacy.
The energies of the Divine Feminine are where our intuition and other gifts of knowing come from. When we dissect all of our parts, and don’t nurture the whole with loving attention, when we stop honoring our unique form and expression in the world, we are cut off from receiving the quiet guidance of our Inner Wise Woman, and our IntuitiveBody.
This leaves us at the mercy of external guidance- the culture, the media, religion- places which hold patriarchal views of women, which further shame us and remind us of the ways in which we are not good enough. We have identified with the aggressor. We don’t need the external to shame us, we do that all on our own.
Body hatred is only a part of where we have abandoned and betrayed ourselves, but it is a concrete and specific place where we can begin to pivot our consciousness to heal ourselves, and maybe even society’s view of women.
This is a good place to journal. What are your most common negative thoughts about your body? Are there specific body parts that you reject and bring negative attention to regularly?
Notice what you say about these parts, or your weight, your size, or the other places that you choose to disconnect from.
See if you can simply observe how it feels to criticize and condemn these parts. Notice if there is a certain emotion that comes up as you label yourself, and separate yourself from your body. Stay with the feeling for a moment, and just notice where it is in your body- where is that negative emotion? See if you can feel where you are holding it. Stay with the pain and the discomfort just a few moments longer. Breathe.
Now, see what happens if instead of all of this disapproval, dislike, criticism that you feel for this part of your body, if you soften those voices, and bring love in, instead.
One way to do this is to connect with your heart’s energy- think about or bring your attention into your heart-center. See if you become aware of a soft, gentle love that is the essence of the heart. Let yourself breathe it in, imagine the loving energy of the heart permeating all of your cells in the body.
When you connect with your heart you also connect with your divinity, your connection to the Divine energies of love, mercy, compassion, and magnificence!
What does that feel like? Can you notice the shift?
Remember that nothing can change when we are in resistance, or throwing negative thoughts and energies at our bodies, or ourselves.
Change comes in on the tides of love and compassion. Inner guidance and intuition can only be heard when you are open, and not resisting.
You ARE the Temple... find your connection. Find your devotion, bring truth back to the mix. The truth is not in body-shame. No matter what your body looks like, no matter what size you are or what you ate.
All of your wellness, healing and happiness come when you own all of your pieces, the good and the imperfect, in your unique wholeness. You will then live in connection with your Intuitive Body, which will generously provide you with all of the answers you are looking for. And that is a beautiful feeling indeed. And of course I want that for you.
….Where do the body shame and negative beliefs come up for you? What do you do when they ‘hit’? Send me an email and tell me..only I will see your words and I will send you a note back that could change something for you. Be brave.
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