When you don’t speak the truth, it hurts your throat chakra. Among other things.
In my years of working with women around their bodies, I became aware that most of us have learned to speak in what I think of as “code”.
Especially for women who are HSPs (highly sensitive person), empaths or intuitive we have may have gotten the message very very early not to speak the truth. Whatever we noticed going on in our families, relationships or patterns or abuse…we learned quickly that nobody was interested in hearing the truth named by those of us who could suss out what was really happening. We learned that certain topics were way off limits, and that not only was there no reward for naming what we saw but that there could be negative repercussions. So we learned not to speak about what we saw, knew, felt.
I have seen countless women, especially lately, struggling with issues in their throat chakra energy center. The throat chakra is about how you speak your truth, how you express yourself, it’s about creative expression and creativity and being in integrity with your words. I see so many women right now with sore throats, coughs, colds, laryngitis and such.
At the same time there’s been an increase in women speaking up, and rising up. Online there is all kinds of activist speech and rallying. People are finding their voices…sort of.
But not always.
It’s very common for women to take things into their bodies instead of speaking honestly about how they’re feeling. Symptoms around the throat may indicate that you need to free up some energy in the throat chakra.
We talk about our weight, or what we’re eating or not eating, we talk about physical symptoms or being busy or tired or some other version of this. This is seen as an acceptable and safe way for us to express the ways in which we “aren’t feeling well”. Our physical and emotional bodies often take the hit when aren’t expressing ourselves… all of our parts, all of our knowing from a place of truth. Many of us use the physical as an excuse to not do the things we don’t want to. More code.
It’s riskier to say no. Harder to say “I don’t want to”. Scary to express our beliefs in powerful and clear ways. We believe we owe long drawn out explanations for not wanting to give certain things or perform certain tasks or not engage in certain relationships. We create long-winded elaborate excuses for why we can’t do that or go there. We suffer when we choose to try to keep everyone else happy instead of being clear.
And something else, to stop speaking code can mean not belonging.
Have you ever been in a group of women where everyone was talking about their weight, or hating their body? And have you felt pressured to join in kind? It reminds me of that old Lean Cuisine commercial where women are on an elevator, each trying to one up the other on what a poor dinner she had the night before. Then the Lean Cuisine woman chimes in with a description of her delicious frozen dinner (ugh) and they all kind of look coldly at her- who are you to break the code of deprivation we’re talking about, seems to be the message.
Because we are not comfortable speaking what is truth for us. We don’t know how. Or if we do, we feel so much fear at expressing ourselves honestly, we feel so much fear that there will be retaliation, judgment, backlash. We learn this lesson quickly and early.
It’s powerful to notice all of the ways we try to avoid speaking clearly what we will say yes or no to. Expressing yourself clearly is essential to having good boundaries. Boundaries are for us, not for other people. Boundaries are a necessary and appropriate way for managing our relationships,our energy, our will.
Not everyone speaks the same kind of code. Some people will make their “no” be about their weight, they might say “I feel fat”. Somebody else might talk about aches and pains, and forms of physical malaise instead of saying that they feel blue, or enraged, or unworthy. Other women talk about how “busy” they are and load up their and their children’s schedules going going going so there is no space to make true choices, to consider what they do or don’t want. Some of us hide behind certain emotions… we respond to everything the same way…maybe anger, or feeling things aren’t fair, or trying to fix something or somebody instead of feeling into their own emotional state. Some of us are ridiculously good at talking psychological insights, analysis, the why of every little thing we do. And although this may appear to be self-awareness, it’s a kind of avoidance. It’s still hiding. It’s talking and thinking versus feeling and expressing. There is still a disconnect. Then there’s perfectionism… the great big defense mechanism where we talk about all of the things that aren’t good enough, aren’t finished, aren’t this or that… a kind of never-ending and addictive striving that literally sucks the joy out of life.
Even riskier is showing our strength, our power, what we truly know, the truths about everything that our IntuitiveBody transmits to us moment by moment.
When we withhold the truth or hide it in code, we block the energy in our throat chakra.
We all have our favorite ways of avoiding the kinds of self-expression that raise our fears of vulnerability. One of the places I love serving my clients is in cracking their personal “code”… what is it that we really feel and that needs to be expressed and to whom? It’s deep and tender work. And there is lots of fear behind our coping strategies. We wouldn’t have had to develop such strategies in the first place if the fear wasn’t there. And the fears go wayyyyy back, and they were appropriate back then. But not so much now.
Now they don’t serve. They muddy the waters, keep us from creating clear clean boundaries and telling the truth in more suitable and powerful ways. They keep us from sharing our unique gifts, the things we know and can teach and share. The ideas and impressions that are ours. Holding these back is costly… it costs us dearly to not shine what has been given us in this lifetime.
Beginning to identify when you are speaking code instead of expressing what really needs to be said is an act of love. If we are loving and compassionate with ourselves we allow our true nature to come forth. To express itself. This does not mean blowing up at people, insulting them, saying whatever you want in the moment. It’s about reaching down underneath your first response and seeing what else is there, what’s really true? It takes time to know yourself in these ways. And even more time to begin to move beyond your fear barriers and risk speaking authentically.
But everything depends on it. The quality of your self esteem, your love for self and others, your ability to create your world. Everything. And it needs to be done gently and with patience. Just notice for now, see what situations make you most likely to speak in code, or which people. You may see patterns, places where you get hooked into old beliefs. It’s ok, your awareness may lead to making small changes and that’s the only kind to make.. no sudden moves, you’ll scare yourself. A journal is a great place to talk about this and learn to express yourself without editing or needing to keep others happy. Using a journal is a worthwhile pursuit.. so powerful.
And I’d love to help. This is where I love to work together to move the fears to the side…gently.. while learning to listen to what is yours to speak and share and create.
Let me know if you’d like to schedule a session with me during Serving Hours. If you’ve never spoken with me, I’d love to hear from you. Just hit ‘reply’.
With so much love,