One of the phrases I hear more often than anything, around what women want, more than weight loss, or having a perfect body.. or any of those sorts of goals, is that they want to live peacefully in their body.. to be comfortable in their own skin.
And I heartfully support that wish.. it’s something you should have. It’s something worth having and worth working towards. And there are ways, and there are ways..
To make peace with your body as an endpoint, you pretty much will need to create the getting there to be peaceful as well.. you can’t try to shame and guilt and force yourself into submission.. it ain’t gonna work.. and haven’t you already tried all of that before? And found that it doesn’t work?
And you have probably blamed yourself.. for a lack of discipline, or not trying hard enough, or some other painful self-harming belief.. but that would be a good practice to stop if peaceful living is your goal. And again, this is the desire I hear over and over from all kinds of women, with all kinds of lives and all sorts of bodies.
One of the main disruptors of peace in your body.. now and down the road.. is the tendency to try to make it all perfect.. to control everything, to get it all “just right”. To get trapped in that all-or-nothing thinking that really backs you into a corner and leaves you there with no way to get out and begin to move forward again.
There is no perfect.. not anywhere in the world. There may be moments of beauty, heart-filling experiences of connection and appreciation and love.. joy even. Times when everything seems to conspire in our favor and come together in ways that light us up and fill us up.. and those are truly blessed gorgeous events to be truly grateful for.
But if you think about them, they’re rarely the ones that you have planned down to the last detail. They have some elements of synchronicity.. some grace and ease of it all coming together when we do our best and allow the rest to come forth as it will. When we allow others to be who they are and try to find the best in them as well. When we trust that things will unfold as they are meant to.. When we relax and step back a bit from what we believe things have to look like.
The efforts that go into trying to make it all “perfect” usually aren’t pretty. Don’t feel good. End with us feeling depleted or unappreciated or disappointed or even like we have failed in some way. Stop it right now.
To have peace in your body, you need to make peace with way more than your eating, way more than your food. You need to make peace with life as it is. People as they are.
This is especially hard for women like us who feel things deeply. Who are highly sensitive and more vulnerable to feeling it all, taking it all on, and then having reactions that deprive us (and others !!) of anything resembling peace.
I believe that sensitive empathic women like us need very specific tools and perspectives to get to that place of peace.. in our bodies and in our relationships.
Things that once you learn them, completely shift your way of interpreting events in your world so that you really can remain peaceful.. which without the ongoing experiences of feeling so much, feeling it all and taking so much of it on, and so much of it into your body.. where it weighs you down very literally.. emotionally and physically and even spiritually..
Finding peace in your body and in your heart (and being able to calm the patterns of noise in your mind.. which is a real challenge) is absolutely possible for you.
I’m incredibly excited about the two new programs I’ve just begun offering. I’ve created two new 6-week intensives.. One focuses on the specific body issues and finding peace there.. The other focuses on relationships.. and finding peace there. Both are solution-focused modules for people who like to make changes quickly.