This is one of those posts that even as I feel inspired or compelled to write it, some part of me says “no.. don’t..they’ll hate it, it’s too (fill in the blank) and part of me wants to go back to doing whatever I was doing before the idea landed solidly in my consciousness.
For a long time I’ve seen our struggles with weight, eating and the associated painful emotions as one of the avenues that moves us towards a spiritual path . Because the pain around it’s so painful, it catches our attention, making us willing to walk through the proverbial fire. At what point do you find the kind of grace that comes when you know you can’t go it alone, and aren’t meant to?
I’ve seen this process as a “firewalk” for a long time.
Seen it as a soul-call- The pain that asks you to go “higher” ..to pay attention to the changes you need to make in order to really come out of hiding, to shine brightly, to be who you’re here to be. Pain can be a persuasive teacher.
To lose the weight, or stop eating in secretive ways that smother you in self-loathing and shame, you’ll need to “break contract”. Both with aspects of yourself and the patterns that are running you, the ones no longer serving you. This is where powerful change happens, and things get interesting. This goes so beyond a diet book or the next food plan.
This has the potential to be your most powerful spiritual transformation, if you are willing to see it that way, and use it as such.
You’ll have to be willing, I believe, to move through some iteration of the death and rebirth cycle.
There will be parts of the way you see yourself, parts of the ways you present yourself in the world, of the ways in which you relate to others… all of the many patterns that define how you see yourself and allow others to see you...that get transmuted as they are put through the fire, if we went to stay with that metaphor.
You’ll say goodbye to the part of you that perpetuates various types of self-harm. Whether it’s holding your body hostage with unwanted extra weight, or eating vampire foods that leave you feeling drained of all life-force energy, or hurting yourself through relationships that deprive you of what you want and deserve, or of not letting your gifts be seen in the world and keeping yourself from engaging in ways that are satisfying and uplifting.
And…you’ll have to be willing to choose this.. with great love for yourself, and with the willingness to stay conscious. Not easy when food or eating or relationships ups-and-downs have become so compelling.. so diverting.
So what will you do? Have you noticed yourself feeling that it’s “time” to tend to your heart’s longing to make some big changes.. and then feel yourself back off, because you’re afraid? Of course.. that’s what happens. Back and forth, back and forth. And there will always be really good reasons to wait.. you could wait forever and ever.
But your Higher Self.. the truest part of you never abandons you. You feel her.. she wants better for you. She has a vision for you, and knows that you are playing so much smaller than what is meant for you. Death and rebirth.. they don’t sound like a real picnic do they?
And yet.. what comes when you release the layers of what is not-you? What is less-than-you. What is meant to go so that you can open to the beauty that is so ready to flow through you as soon as you make room for it… As you even pause to imagine this, I suspect you begin to get at least a whiff and a sense in your heart and your IntuitiveBody of what that could be like. And it’s real… uniquely yours.
I want that for you.