When something is triggering the hell out of us, isn’t it so very tempting to say “I’ll change that tomorrow/start on Monday/do it after this red-hot minute” because it’s just too hard.
We are often magnetized by our own repetitive ways of thinking and acting. At least I am.
And of course the biggest tests and hardest moments seem to come moments after we have made some declaration around making a change.
Which do you think is harder, changing a belief or changing a behavior? Don’t answer right away.
Even I haven’t totally decided which, although I am leaning towards “belief”. It’s almost like the chicken and egg. Which comes first? I am pretty sure the belief shapes the behavior.
Once you stop the belief from barreling down the tracks and picking up steam…much easier to shift your actions. Easy being a relative term, of course.
I just deleted four paragraphs. I had described the parameters of the “thing” that was trying to pull me out of my center right now, the thing that moved me to write this blog post. Something I am not all that proud of feeling that has to do with believing a certain person continues to “borrow” key pieces from my writing and website.
I want to do bad things. Say bad things. Things I would not feel good about, because they emanate from the part of me that holds beliefs that I am gently trying to shift. Beliefs whose hold on me I have decided has gone on long enough.
Instead I am sparing myself the temptation of reverting back to the old and well-worn reactions. I can feel the wanting to do it “just this once” before making the changes. I can feel the justifications sprouting, and the wish for just a little drama shared with a few dear friends. (Ok- I did cave in and email one very trusted friend…).
But now it needs to be over. I am choosing to see with different eyes. Not the other person. But myself. To know that these things that happen around me have little to do with me and need have no impact. They have no authority over me.
As Caroline Myss says (and it’s my FAVORITE thing of every brilliant thing she says because it’s so succint, she doesn’t fool around) “Don’t attach to the spectacle”.
Don’t attach to the spectacle, Lisa. Ahh. Better. Right. Don’t. Stay neutral, stay detached from the things that want to get me to take it personally or feel diminished in some game of pride or whatever. It’s nothing. I can let it be nothing.
One down… who knows how many more to go, it doesn’t matter.
Want to talk about ways you can make changes and get some fresh ideas? Join me for Open Door Mondays– Next Monday January 13th! See details below. Or check out my new Knowing Beauty Session– 90 minutes uncovering your hidden beauty..
Sending you love and blessings…