How to break free from old patterns

When I work with clients, so much of what we focus on is breaking the chains of old survival patterns.

The patterns you used to cope when you were young, or experiencing trauma, or some loss of power… emotional overwhelm, any of the hard things.

Nobody really remembers to BLESS those patterns… they are rarely seen as something that actually saved us, allowed us to not shatter further, something that soothed or calmed or allowed us to detach so that we could protect our tender insides.

Instead… we demonize the pattern. We forget that once upon a time it had a real job to do, a purpose… even though the pattern hung around longer than we may have wished… we acclimated, got used to protecting ourselves in ways that were no longer helpful… and then the self loathing, self judgment, lack of compassion and disconnection got revved up.

It’s hard to break a pattern that was part of your survival, just for starters. IT’s hard. We come to rely on it, we believe things that tell us we won’t survive without it… Maybe we know some part of this doesn’t make sense but… we fear feeling more vulnerable, being more at the mercy of the emotions and experiences stored in our tissues and in our world… that we feel we may not be able to manage…

So trying to go head-to-head with the pattern… whether it’s emotional or binge eating, or another substance, or a way of behaving in relationships, or other coping styles we use to get by… there is so much fear there… that anything heavy handed doesn’t work without a LOT of support and a new sort of belief system, like the 12-step programs for example.

But otherwise…

It’s helpful to have some healthy respect for the fear. And for the power of the pattern. And for the beliefs about how it ‘saves’ you.. The sense of not being able to ‘survive’ without the thing…

And having love and compassion for this fear.. this predicament… trying to take some of the judgment out while also realizing this pattern has some deep roots now.

And then.. and then.

Coming back to the physical plane. Coming back to the body and the senses. Coming back to the moment and not getting lose in the memories and the past and what has happened or what you’ve ‘always’ done and fear you always will.

Flooding the senses with bits of beauty, of rest, of pleasure, of comfort. Asking in the moment “What would feel better right now?”. Looking for the smallest crack of light. Breathing slow and deep with your hand to your heart.

Feeding yourself well in every sense of the word in every way possible. Finding the gentlest way forward. Asking yourself and the receptive intuitive part of your brain… “What would be a more fun way to solve this” and LISTEN.. listen to what that wise part of you might offer.

Come at the pattern with love.. with respect, with gentleness and appreciation. Come with a memory of how it did actually serve you at one time and maybe then it really was the best you could do.

That feels better. It’s spring… there is energy behind new beginnings and letting things move and grow… let it support you while you gently love yourself into more wholeness.

All love… all blessings all xo lisa